A question was asked, and now it remains etched in my mind. This was it: What advice would you give to other couples who still have their spouse?
It hit a tender spot in my heart. Before Daniel passed, there was nothing I enjoyed talking about more than marriage. Truth be told, on our last evening together, we had a precious conversation where I again expressed my love for the subject of marriage relationships.
Today, many thoughts go floating through my head. Being married was the best thing that ever had happened to me. … Yes, it really was, but then Daniel and I both found that having a strong flowing relationship takes teamwork bigger and stronger than we could do on our own. The hard times highlighted those precious times when we brought our burdens to the Lord and he picked us up, tightening our love like never before.
You know, the first thing I thought of when that question was posed was this, “Never allow widows like me to cheapen your connection with your spouse, because God actually intended marriages to reflect his love for us.”
I can’t say it never hurts to see couples together or smiling at each other, because at times it does, but never will it heal my heart to not see this happiness in others.
Okay, getting back to your question. Once when we were going through a difficult time and it was harder to communicate, a more seasoned couple listened to what we were struggling with and gave simple input we never forgot. It was something like this, “Allow your partner the privilege of fully expressing what he or she has to say, and listen with an open heart. When it is your turn to speak, do so without batting hurts or ill feelings around, just say how things look to you. And then hand in hand bring those things to your Heavenly Father and find Rest for Your Souls.”
It sounds too simple for the size blessing it proved to be. It wasn’t always that easy, but was well worth the effort. And, if you are like we were, the time may not even be right to discuss everything right away. For some, it takes time to process things before they’re ready to talk it out. At any rate, there are no two people exactly the same, meshing them together as one can be a journey, but once again, certainly is worth it.
Don’t we all have unchangeables in our lives? As some of you can’t change your spouse into how you’d long for him or her to be, some of us can’t change the fact that we’ve had an unchangeable loss, others face the reality of never having had a spouse, the list goes on without end. Is not the key to all of us to accept the present? Whew, easier said than done! Only by God’s provision is it made possible to both fully and freely accept what comes.
Okay, on the lighter side of life, a warm thank you to all of you who have helped complete our Christmas by your love, prayers, cards and gifts. A special thank you to the family who showered us with surprise packages and chose to have their identity protected, so as to be able to bless others in years to come!
Last but not least, I’ll leave you with hubby’s all-time favorite cinnamon rolls. I made them many times with little hands all over to help make it for daddy. The children don’t even know, but I would keep some caramel icing on the counter for him to add an extra slather on his rolls!
½ cup warm water
2 tablespoons yeast
2 tablespoons sugar
3½ ounces vanilla instant pudding
2 cups milk
½ cup butter, melted
1 teaspoon salt
6 cups bread flour
6 tablespoons butter, melted
1 ¼ cup brown sugar
1 tablespoon cinnamon
Combine first three ingredients. Mix pudding with milk and add to yeast mixture. Stir in melted butter, beaten eggs and salt. Add flour, mix well. Roll dough on floured surface. Spread with 6 tablespoons melted butter, 1 cup brown sugar and 1 tablespoon cinnamon. Roll up and slice 1 inch thick. Place on a greased cake pan. Let rise until double. Bake at 350 for 20 minutes or until done. Cool. Frost with caramel icing.
3/4 cup butter
1 1/2 cups brown sugar
1/2 teaspoon salt
6 tablespoons milk
Stir butter and sugar over medium heat until melted. Add salt and milk and bring to a boil, simmer for two minutes. Cool slightly, then add powdered sugar to desired consistency. Spread over cinnamon rolls.
Gloria Yoder is an Amish mom, writer, and homemaker in rural Illinois. The Yoders travel primarily by horse-drawn buggy and live next to the settlement’s one-room school-house. Readers can write to Gloria at 10510 E. 350th Ave., Flat Rock, IL 62427