So what is ideal love? Ideal love is being with a partner who truly loves and accepts you all the time. Ideal partners have few disagreements as they share a lot of the same viewpoints and values in life. They have a lot of things in common. Their relationship is smooth and easy. They have a deep love, respect, and support for one another. Ideal mates really “get” each other. They honor and empower each other in a positive way. They challenge one another and make each other a better person. Ideal mates are so full of love and happiness their union makes the world a better place. You know when you’re in the presence of an ideal love relationship, you can actually feel love and peace emanate from them. They almost glow they’re so happy.
People feel loved in different ways. The book “The Five Love Languages” explains how people feel loved in one of five ways: words of affirmation, quality time, affection, acts of service and gifts. When two people are in an ideal love relationship, each person expresses love naturally how the other person needs to receive it. Have you ever been in a relationship where your partner didn’t do things right. You just never felt heard or understood. You would tell your mate what you wanted and needed and he/she would do those things for a little while, maybe a couple weeks or couple months, but their new behavior wouldn’t last. You would end up fighting over the same thing sooner than later. The reason the preferred behavior wouldn’t last is because it didn’t come naturally, it was forced. Forced behavior takes a lot of awareness, thought and effort. When you’re in a relationship with someone that does not naturally express love how you need it, there will always be conflict. In other words, if one person feels loved by words of affirmation but they are in a relationship with someone who loves through gifts even though the gift giver feels they are expressing love, their mate won’t feel loved as their love language is different. The gift giver is not expressing love the way their mate needs to receive it. The gift giver will feel frustrated and so will their mate, hence they each feel unhappy and unfulfilled.
Did you know love is the most Googled word? Love is the greatest of all human needs. Everyone has the desire and need to be loved and accepted. Some people have love, some fear it, some abuse it, but everyone still wants and needs to be loved. As a life coach of 16 years, I help people figure out what’s working and what isn’t working in their life. Over the years, I’ve come to specialize in love and relationships.
Most people have conscious and subconscious negative thoughts, beliefs and fears about love. When you’re operating through a negative distorted perception it’s really quite impossible to have a positive experience. I have to say, I’ve always found it interesting how people will spend years and thousands of dollars to get a college education, to then spend less than a decade in that particular career field, yet most people enter marriage with the hope of spending a lifetime together with little or no personal awareness or development.
How many people do you know are married, yet not close to being fully happy or fulfilled in their love life? With the divorce rates as high as they are, you’d think more people would make the investment to find out what they want and need in a partner and a relationship. Your perception is your reality, and your reality is your perception. Nonetheless, I’m here to tell you ideal love truly exists.
Listen to Life Coach Tamie Wilson, a Delaware resident, on Sunday mornings at 11 a.m. on WDLR 92.9 FM/1550 AM. Visit her website at www.LoveLifeWithTamie.com.