My article for today is about a friend of ours. I will not be using his real name, so will refer to him as “JR.”
George and JR have been friends for a lot of years. If it hadn’t been for their horses, they probably never would have met. In the horse business, you get to know a lot of people, and JR became one of his very best friends.
I haven’t written about the horse farm for a very long time because we sold it and no longer have any horses to write about. Thirty years ago we met JR when he came to our farm with one of his neighbors. He didn’t come to ride, he just came to be a part of the world of a boarding stable with lots of horses, a race track, and an indoor arena.
He had his own full-time job, so before his retirement, he only came on the weekends. But when he retired, he started coming almost every day. He had his own farm with a couple of horses, but he liked being a part of a bigger riding and racing stable, too. They helped each other make hay every year, as well as building fences at each of their farms. JR had Tennessee Walkers, which are show and riding horses, while George had both riding and standardbred racehorses.
After lots of years passed, JR started forgetting how to do certain things. For instance, which door to open on his truck, or how to get his seat belt fastened. That was followed by him not doing much driving at all.
He was allowed to drive to our house to sit and talk to George, but not allowed to travel any more than the mile to get here. But, after a short time, he wasn’t allowed to drive at all. That lead to the word “Alzheimer’s” coming into our daily conversations with his wife.
Eventually, George started taking him to lunch a couple of times each week. That was to give JR’s wife a break from him following her around the house wherever she went. JR liked going to the same place and having the same food every time they went. He wanted French fries, a cheeseburger with pickles and onions, and a Coke. First, he ate the French fries, one at a time, and then the pickle, and then the onion, and then the cheeseburger back inside the bun.
After lunch, George always took him to either Lowe’s, Menards, Delaware Hardware, or TSC for him to look around while George purchased what he needed for our garden.
One time at Menards, he wandered away, and George had to get the employees to help find him. When they started to look for him, he had been at the back of the store, but by the time they found him, he had wandered clear up to the front.
Eventually, JR had to be moved to a place for Alzheimer’s patients. After a few weeks, we were allowed to go see him. We found him standing near some other people, and when he saw us, he came to greet us, and walked us to his room. It was almost lunch time, so the employees invited us to have lunch with him there. He was served a very nutritious meal and George was glad he no longer had to have that same cheeseburger and Coke he had always eaten when George had taken him out to lunch.
When it was time for us to go home, we explained to him that we had to leave. The three of us were standing in the hallway in front of his room, and as we started walking away, our final words were, “We’ll be back.” And standing there alone, just outside his room, he very quietly said, “No you won’t.”
Kay E. Conklin is a retired Delaware County recorder who served four terms. She graduated from Ohio Wesleyan University with a degree in sociology and anthropology.
