It’s funny how song lyrics get stuck in my head. I can forget the song and the artist, but one line can hunker itself in this brain of mine pretty tightly. After doing some “research” (Google), I figured out the song and artist of a line I always sing to myself lately. Boyz II Men recorded a song in 1994 called “Water Runs Dry” that begins, “We don’t even talk anymore, and we don’t even know what we argue about.” I understand the context of that song is a romantic relationship, but that lyric has been pretty front-of-mind lately. Let me tell you why.
I come from the farm. My family operated a livestock and grain farm in rural Indiana when I was a kid. To this day there are only about 13,000 people in the entire county (my home county is roughly the size of Delaware County). The population there is lower than it was 10 years ago. The thing about a small community is everyone knows everyone. This can be good or bad. Pull a couple of bonehead moves as a young person, and you’ve got a bad reputation. But it’s good because it forces people to be nicer to each other. If there’s a problem, you must talk and work it out, because you depend on each other more in a small community.
In our current time, I don’t see us talking to each other much. We are talking at each other or posting our opinions on social media or choosing to talk exclusively to other members of our “team” (be that political party, religious affiliation, hobby, or something else). This is not good. You might find this difficult to believe, but even though I am a Christian, I am legitimately curious about how other religions, other cultures, and beliefs think. What’s more, given the fact that we live in the United States, I am interested in how people of different beliefs and values can not only get along, but thrive together in our community and country. For example, there are real disagreements about how we teach children in the public schools on certain subjects. There are disagreements regarding the role of parents in the lives of their children. There used to be general agreement that books for young children should not contain things of a sexual nature. That agreement no longer exists. For so many reasons, we need to talk together.
One does not need to think too hard to understand the pitfalls of not talking. Whenever I’ve been in a disagreement with another person, I’ve caught myself starting to assume bad motives about someone or trying to read their minds, neither of which is healthy. If we let this go on long enough, the person on the other side of an issue can stop appearing merely wrong, and start to seem to us less human. We need to talk.
Proverbs 18:2 says, “A fool takes no pleasure in understanding, but only in expressing his opinion.” Whenever I’ve had the opportunity to really talk with someone who thinks differently about things than I do, I’ve walked away with a better understanding even if I still don’t agree with them. Sadly, I’m finding that fewer and fewer people want to engage in good-faith conversations. I have a pastor friend of mine who recently told me that, at his church, they actually practice having good-faith conversations together. I find that very encouraging, and he has inspired me to look for more ways to have such conversations with others.
When Jesus came on the scene, He was known for talking to others who were not like Him … those who did not live like He did … even those who were outcasts. He spoke the truth in love. We should go and do likewise.
Scott Tiede has been the senior pastor of Delaware Bible Church at 45 Belle Ave. since 2012. Check out DBC at www.delawarebible.org.
